My calendar says that spring is just around the corner.
I had a nice winter’s nap, and now, I’m expected to change gears in March and start mowing the grass.
Oh, no. The lawn mower. I put a liquid in with the fuel last autumn. The mower was to start easily this spring. Well, that’s what the can’s label said would happen.
No. I tried starting it today. It sputtered and started for eight seconds. It died. I repeated pulling the rope until my arm was numb. I examined the spark plug, and I stared at the engine. I kicked the tires and stared at the paint. There has to be a magic incantation a person can say over a mower to make it run properly. But what would it be?
I think there is a sinister spirit living inside my lawn mower. And he takes up residence in any mower I purchase. I own three and none of them work. The naughty spirit is laughing at me.
There has to be an easier way. There is! I’ll hire a 20-something-year-old man who lives in my town to mow my yard. He has lots of customers, and he’s good. And I’m tired. So tired. I’ll get out the checkbook this year and pay him to do the work.
And what will I do with all the extra time on my hands? Here are some ideas:
I found a 1960s chaise lounge last autumn at a rummage sale. This is a top-of-the-line model, and it’s in great shape. I intend to enjoy it this year.
I’ll walk in the neighborhood to stay in shape.
I’ll do some volunteer work.
I’ll start a few tomato plants from seed on the windowsill.
Oh, yes. There’s one more thing. I’m going to roll my mower into the alley and set it on fire.
Those are my spring plans. How about yours?
Gerri Hunter is a freelance writer from Mooreville, Iowa.