“The hand you hold the longest is your own.” — Libba Bray
We spend so much energy on finding that “special” relationship, believing that a person will complete us.
No one else can complete us or make us whole. Our happiness and fulfillment in life are not dependent on anyone but ourselves.
Having a loving, equal partnership in life can be magnificent, but we first need to have a healthy relationship with ourselves. We do not need someone else to fulfill every single need and expectation of life that we have. We need to understand that we can do that for ourselves and by working toward healthy self-love and respect.
Healthy self-love is the prerequisite for healthy relationships with others.
Consider whether the relationship you might need to work on is the one you have with yourself, prior to seeking a loving relationship with someone else. Have you taken time to develop a loving relationship with yourself? Have you looked into the eyes of your soul and connected with your true self? Other relationships will improve when you improve the one with yourself. If you believe your relationship with yourself needs to be strengthened and healed, here are a few suggestions to begin on that journey today.
Trust yourself. Learn to trust your gut instincts, and learn from your missteps.
Love yourself. You are perfectly imperfect, and know that it is OK.
Respect yourself. Know your worth, and value all that makes you unique in the world.
Challenge yourself. To learn, to grow, to be the best version of yourself without comparison to others.
See yourself through the eyes of spirit. You are a perfect creation and here for a reason. You are no less spectacular than anything we see in nature.
Practice mindfulness. Learn to live in the present moment for that is where joy is found.
Be amazed at your body every day. Our bodies are a beautiful miracle. Be grateful for every day that your body is fully functioning.
Offer self-compassion. Give yourself the space and grace to be authentically you.
Reconnect with yourself through quiet reflection time in nature. Stop the glorification of busy. Stop overscheduling, overcommitting and get outside in the natural world.
Know yourself — the good, the bad and the ugly. Accept who you are, appreciate the good, and change what you do not like.
Forgive yourself and others. Peace of mind begins with forgiveness.
Developing a sense of true self-love is a process and it isn’t always easy. It’s something that has to be worked on every single day, but it is so worth it in the end. Living a healthy, meaningful life means growing and changing. As you and your relationships mature, you will become a more self-accepting, better version of yourself and your relationships will grow deeper in love, mutual respect and happiness.
Linda Peterson is a life purpose and wellness coach at Statera Integrated Health and Wellness Solutions in Dubuque.